Gossip

What exactly is gossip? Here's what Webster say's it is. I really like what the International Standard Version of the Bible has to say about it:

1 Timothy 5:13

"At the same time, they also learn how to be lazy while going from house to house. Not only this, but they even become gossips and keep busy by interfering in other people's lives, saying things they should not say."

I witnessed such a thing a few years ago when I was doing a party (direct sales) at a hostess' house and again last weekend at a yard sale.

(hmm...wonder if this story is gossip?)

I was doing a party and the women were all chattering. I learned a lot at these parties. Most of all that women are vicious. I can say that. I am a woman.

These women were talking about an open teaching position at the local elementary school and who they thought might get the job. My next door neighbor at the time was a nurse at that school and had just finished getting her teaching degree and was applying for the job. Her name came up in the conversation and they were all talking about her. I chirped in and said something along the lines of, "She's my next door neighbor, I love her, she's so sweet." They looked at each other and stopped talking about her. Shut them up real quick.

Last weekend I was doing my regular yard sale thing where I collect other people's junk, clean it up and sell it on eBay for a lot more than what I paid for it. Like this that I got really cheap.

So I'm at this yard sale, scoping out the goods when the next door neighbor of the lady running the sale came over. This woman was so aged that she could hardly walk. Breathing was also a problem for her. It would have been better if she'd stayed home. The lady running the sale went inside to get something and the old neighbor started right up:

"wheeze....I can't believe she's selling this for that little....wheeze...I know what she paid for it...wheeze....she has a problem....wheeze....always spending money....wheeze....she's addicted to shopping....wheeze.....she's going to declare bankruptcy....wheeze."

Now mind you, this woman could hardly stand up and could hardly breathe, but she made sure that we all knew her neighbor's dirty secrets. It was pitiful. The lady having the sale came back outside and all of the sudden old neighbor woman turned on the niceness and got all sweet to her. I've never seen such an example. It was horrific. I almost told the sale-runner that her neighbor was smack talking her, but I didn't know if that would cause the old woman to die or something so I just let it go. It was so sad.

There are other examples. Sometimes gossip is thinly veiled as a prayer request, "Remember to pray for sister you-know-who because her brother was arrested for drunk driving last week and her husband threatened to leave her if she goes to visit him in jail." (I didn't even make up a name there because it isn't a real request and I don't want anyone to associate anything with the story in my mind.)

We've all heard them that way. We've probably uttered them ourselves. I'm positive we've all gossiped. I know I have. It's something that we do. And it's not just women. Some of the worst gossips I've known in the church have been men.*

I overheard someone a while back even talk about who their pastor husband had been counseling for marriage problems. Another ministry couple that I know. This wasn't even being told to me but was loud enough that I heard it and it made my heart ache. This lovely couple went to someone that they thought they could trust, he went home and told his wife and she shared it publicly.

I do have to admit that my claws came out a little on that one. I didn't address it, because I wasn't sure it was my place. I may someday though. Depends on how long it bothers me :P

Let's go back and look at that verse:

1 Timothy 5:13

"At the same time, they also learn how to be lazy while going from house to house. Not only this, but they even become gossips and keep busy by interfering in other people's lives, saying things they should not say."

Looks like the way to avoid it is to keep busy. If we are busy doing the Lord's work then we won't have time to be falling into chattering about others.

Oh my. It also says that we're running from house to house to do our chattering.

Well, not so much anymore.

Now we're calling each other on the phone.

And texting.

And IM-ing.

And emailing.

And Facebooking.

And sometimes, amidst all of the mutterings, you even learn something about yourself. I have. Course, as a PW it's to be expected. Sad but true. Back in early 2004 we left Pittsburgh and traveled to Illinois to take a church there. We heard through the grapevine that the reason we were leaving was that we were getting a divorce. The rumor was said to have begun at the town diner. Where a certain woman who used to attend the church worked.

Pssst! Still married (and happily too!)

I'm not condemning you for gossip. Like I said before we all do it. And will do it again. But why not try to NOT do it? We should conquer it together. And once we do, we'll share a cinnamon roll.

Mmmmmm.

*Please note, this is NOT what I've found to be true at our current church. Don't want to start a rumor or anything.