Skip to main content

Guarding Your Marriage: That Creepy Feeling

We've all had that experience, but have you had that creepy feeling from a man who wasn't really a creepy man?

Every time I've had that feeling I've later learned something that backed it up.

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. There's that man who just looks at you a little too intently. He's married, you're married, and it just feels...off.
Listen to that feeling.

There were several men who gave me this feeling when we lived in Illinois. They've all since had affairs and have gotten divorced.

Listen to that feeling.

More recently there was a man who gave me this feeling and I mentioned it to my husband. He didn't get it (they rarely do, unfortunately) and he told me that this man, we will call him Abe for this story, just looked at everyone this way.

Until he overheard this married man talking one day. Abe was admiring a young woman that they both knew and Abe said, "If I wasn't already married I'd go after her." 

Um, ew.
Dude, you're married. You have no right to be looking at another woman and speaking things like this about her. Not only that but you claim to be a Christian man.
Double ew.

It was then that my husband understood why I was uncomfortable around Abe. The more he watched and observed he began to see the same things that I was seeing. Another friend confided in me about conversations that she had with Abe in which he was complaining to her about his wife. Huge red flag right there. My friend was smart enough to not say anything and flee from that conversation as quickly as she could.

Abe is obviously unhappy in his situation and this is a recipe for destruction. 

If you get that feeling from someone, listen to it. That is one huge way that you can protect your marriage.

There was an old man at our church in Illinois (and I know I've shared this story before so if you don't want to read it again then skip ahead) who gave me this feeling. He would greet me at the door and look me up and down and smile and tell me how pretty I was.
"You're the prettiest pastor's wife we've ever had."
"You don't need to lose any more weight, you look really good."
And so on.
I started to avoid him because it was so creepy and inappropriate. At one point he complained to my mother during a visit, saying that I didn't talk to any of the old people, only the young people. I clarified to her that it was only him that I avoided because he was so downright disgusting.

Be careful who you engage with. If you get those bad vibes then avoid those people. It is much better that you hurt their feelings than if you destroy your marriage.

Have you experienced these feelings? What have you done to escape them?

 

Comments

  1. There is a man who has said things to me that are similar to your "older man" story. I just tried to ignore it. His son asked me one time about it. It actually pretty much stopped recently. Wondering if someone said something to him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't you think most women have a sixth sense about this? A man like this is constantly throwing out bait to see if a woman will bite. Sadly, many women ....Christian women, are in love starved marriages, and a man like this just boosts their egos. They both begin to feed off of each other. Healthy marriages, where lots of love abounds, run from these advances. It is all very sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to think that most women do but I'm not sure they do. Sad.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Front Row Seat

  If you've been around me any length of time, you'll know I love having a front row seat when possible. Church. Concerts. Comedy shows. Auctions. I want to be front and center, where the action is, so I don't get distracted and miss something. I want to be part of the event and front is where it's at.  Lately I've had a front row seat to some things that I wish I could unsee. My mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis and the last year and a half of watching her slow and steady decline into a world of unknowns has taken a toll.  I tend to hold every emotion inside. Always have. I've learned -these past fifteen months or so- that this is bad for my health. Stress levels are impacting how I feel. Palpitations, and a diagnosis of "harmless" PACs, have left me trying to manage this stress. It's gotten easier but, I'll admit, I still have things shoved down inside. And then along came CDH. A diagnosis I'd not heard of before it was given to gran

It's Not A Blessing if you Had to Sin to Get it

Pretty strong words but also very true. I once heard a man say his girlfriend was, "A gift from God."  Except she wasn't because she was still married to someone else. Glenn wiggled in and turned her head and snatched her away from her husband and children. How dare he think God had anything to do with that. He doesn't work that way. If you want His blessings then you need to walk closely with Him. He will never bless sin. He can't. He is unable to. Sin is what separates us from God.  Glenn may think he is living a blessed life as he runs on emotions and feelings but nothing like this will prosper. In the end it will lead to destruction.  It already has. The family he destroyed will never be the same. 

Selling items on Craigslist and common scams

I'm selling a couple of things on Craigslist. I've done this a few times before and always, the first interested parties I hear from are scammers. This time in my listing I specified that I will not take money orders and asked that scammers not contact me. Here's the first interested party that I heard from: mr robins journeycristina@gmail.com Is it still available for sale... I replied: Yes it is. Here's the second contact from the first interested party. Note that the name of the sender and the email of the sender are different than the ones from the first contact: Clyde Wright fisherr.mattyy@gmail.com Hello, Thanks for the swift response, just to let you know that am okay with the condition and price of the item, am ready for its purchase and my form of payment will be by sending you Check via UPS next day delivery. I'll be responsible for the pick-up and the pick up money will be included in your payment to avoid delay and to enable pick up company to s