Sunday, February 22, 2015

Guarding Your Marriage: Date Night!


We've talked an awful lot about what things not to do and what to avoid in order to guard your marriage. It's time to lighten things up and talk about some things that are good to do to guard your marriage. 

It is important to spend time together. Just the two of you. No matter how long you've been married. Life interrupts relationships and unless you are keeping up with each other you will lose each other.

Kids happen.
Jobs happen.
Debt happens.
Sickness happens.
Leaky roofs happen. 
Car accidents happen.
And the list goes on.

Just like any other relationship, you get out of it what you put into it. Wayne and I don't have a perfect marriage, because we are just two people, but we are committed to making it work.

We regularly take time each week to go out to lunch or dinner together. Since he is a sports nut and I am not, food is one thing that we can enjoy together. We have eaten in some fantastic restaurants all over the country.

Date night doesn't have to cost much. There are times that you just need to be alone together. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. Go get a coffee at Starbucks. Browse a new grocery store.

Side note: I always think it's so much fun to go to a grocery store when I'm in a new area. They have different things than the stores at home do. Next time you're out of town try it!

Play a board game together - this is especially good if you have little ones. Put them to bed and play a game. Our game of choice has always been Scrabble. It's much easier now that we play Words with Friends on our phones. There are only two people that I play Words with Friends with. My guy and Becky, another pastor's wife. 

If you enjoy being creative together then visit a flea market and pick up a piece of furniture that you can repurpose.

Pick out a new recipe and get the ingredients for it. This is actually something that my daughter and I enjoy doing. We love to try new foods and so many of the restaurants in our town are not up to our standards (foodies that we are!) so we just make things ourselves. The other night we had Thai spring rolls. It was so much fun sitting together at the table and making our own rolls to eat.

There are a lot of ideas online for things to do also. 

After over twenty years in full-time ministry I've gotten used to sharing him with people, I don't always like it, but I'm used to it. Our date time is time when I feel I can be fully selfish and not share him with anyone. 

If you are not happy with your marriage and are finding yourself complaining about it then maybe you need to do what you can to change things. 

I said do what YOU can to change things.

Not try to change your spouse, that never ends well.
Unless you are being abused or your spouse is cheating on you (with either an actual person, someone online, or pornography --yes, porn is adultery!) then your marriage has a really good chance of being mended.

Start with prayer.
Then begin to put the other person's needs before your own. 

You cannot be selfish and have a good marriage. It is impossible.

Remember why you fell in love with this person.
Marriage isn't about what I can get out of it, what makes me happy.
Marriage is about learning to submit to each other and not in that nasty Fifty Shades way. 
It takes a lot of work and isn't for the weak.
Are you strong enough to make it work?

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