One company coined the phrase, "Is it live or is it Memorex?" for their cassettes, insisting they had the best quality.
Their question has been floating in and out of my mind for the past several months, with a slight change.
My new tagline reads:
Is it real or is it menopause?
One day I'm merrily living life and then BAM! I suddenly look in the mirror and feel worthless from head to toe. My dreams and goals look like nonsense. My self image is still there somewhere. I can't find it though since it's being hidden by brain fog. If I do find it I certainly can't talk about it because my words come out all befuddled.
Oh hormones, I want to quiet you with salt and vinegar potato chips. And a bag of chocolate chips (because every good woman keeps these on hand knowing they aren't just for baking). A salty soft pretzel would be good right now. Bring on the carbs and sodium.
Instead I remind myself that it isn't real. None of the perceptions I have about myself on these days are real. I've also learned not to make decisions on these days or do any important work. The work and decisions can wait.
So I take extra care in my appearance, putting on actual make-up and fixing my hair even though I'm working from home. I take my Vitamin B6 and slather on the progesterone cream knowing that in a few days this hormonal influence will leave me and seek out the next woman in her mid-forties.
The Girl in Stretchy Jeans