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Showing posts from February, 2017

Worthless

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I woke feeling worthless today. It's likely the perfect storm of wintery weather, hormones, a dichotomy on the scale, and the nagging cold that won't let go.

I explained it to my friend this way, "I feel like a coin in a tin can. Rattling around and making a lot of noise but not doing anything worthwhile."
All this a couple days after someone fussed over me, "Oh Suzanne, you're so awesome," she said excitedly.
I don't like being fussed over. My close friends and family know this. It makes me very uncomfortable and gives me time to think about how un-awesome I am because I know myself better than anyone else does.
I see my faults and failures. I see the ugly hiding in my heart. I see the attitude that needs changed. I see the unmet expectations and the quiet harbor I find in closing myself in a shell.
Today has been full of cold wind, unending housework, and loads of self-doubt.
I wore my inflatable crown while I ironed my husband's shirts. After all…

The Miracle of (My) Life

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You are a miracle. You didn't arrive here by chance. It took centuries of decisions and roads traveled or not traveled to lead to your creation. We are made unique with our own stories. Here's mine:
In the year 1620 the Mayflower sailed from England to the New World. John Howland was a passenger hoping for a new life, a dream almost cut short when he fell overboard. He was pulled from the sea and I am a direct descendant of his.
My maternal grandfather was born in Italy and lived there until he was twelve, when, in 1920, he crossed the Atlantic with the same dreams as John Howland. He entered the New York Harbor and went through Ellis Island with thousands of other immigrants. He traveled from there to the Pittsburgh area where he met with family in Washington County.
My grandfather married a woman who spent most of her life in the hills of West Virginia. They had a baby girl in 1931 and over the next ten years suffered the loss of a stillborn boy and the death of another daught…

Praying for Miracles - What is our Part?

Prayer requests.
In ministry we've heard them all.
"Pray for my gas," was one that shut down open prayer request time at one church we served in.
"Pray for my hangnail," was one another pastor heard.
"Pray for my son to get a new job where he can make more money," is one a mother said to me on a Sunday morning.

Some I've prayed include:
"Please help us get out of debt."
"Please take this illness away."

What part do we play in having our needs met?

The pastor who was asked to pray for the hangnail told the man, "Go home and cut it off."

The answer to my prayer about getting out of debt took several years of hard work on our part. The miracle was finding a book about being debt free.

The answer to my prayer about taking my illness away lied in finding a four month detox cleanse diet that cured me of my ailment.

My mother-in-law was able to avoid taking medicine for a diabetes diagnosis by simply changing her diet and a…