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Showing posts from April, 2020

What Was I Thinking?

My mind wandered down paths I try to avoid, reaching into memories pushed aside. Assaulting me with reasons and questions and motives. I'm embarrassed to admit I spent more time on these paths than I normally do and the guilt and shame started creeping in.  I'm pretty good at shaking off the thoughts that try to hit me. I almost physically reach into my head and pull them out, throwing them to the ground and saying, "I will not think about that," deciding to think on other, better things.  But once in a while... Perhaps it's the forced time alone with the 2020 Corona Quarantine. Honesty had me admitting to friends this week that Corona has fear creeping at my doorstep. He's knocking and I'm trying to ignore him. Pretty sure he's circling my house, looking for a hole to slip into. He's a hard one to chase away. I turn off the news and avoid news websites. I focus on creating interesting meals and reading encouraging books. I pray. I fin