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Don't Go Breaking His Heart

Years ago I spent some time disguised as the church secretary.  I know, you're trying to picture it. Trust me, it was rough. While my husband may be my dream man he was definitely not my dream boss . Nor was I a dream secretary. Being self-employed is what I was created for. Well, that and the ability to make really good apple cake. On one of these days the church door was left unlocked and I was alone in the building (which takes on a creepy edge when you're alone there, just saying) and in wandered a sobbing woman. Being the one to see who entered (read: since I was alone) I met her in the entryway and she fell into my arms.  I sensed she needed to talk. We sat in the sanctuary and she poured her heart out. She'd just found out her husband was cheating on her. She was devastated. She cried and talked for a long time and I encouraged her as best I could. I prayed with her and thought that was the end, but she started regularly attending the church and I got to know her. Sh
Recent posts

New Year, New House, New You?

  Over the course of my nearly twenty-nine year marriage I've moved to different houses fourteen times. At the onset of nearly all of those moves I thought about how the new home would make everything better. That being in different walls would solve all of my angst. It wasn't until the past couple moves (the last one being nine years ago) that I realized the only thing that was going to change was my address because I'm a human with issues and I take those issues with me everywhere I go. Life is a little like that though. We observe others and compare our lives to theirs.  "If my house was bigger I could _____ just like they do."  "If we had more room we would get along better."      "If our house was newer it would look better." The truth is that rarely does changing our surrounding change anything else. We are still the same messy person we were before. We still have the same marriage issues we had before. We still struggle with our diets. W

2020 Favorite Things

2020 has been the craziest year. I decided to release my favorite things list a little early, not that it's important to anyone but me ha ha. These are things that impacted me over the past year -- in a positive way. I could easily do a least favorite things list for this year, as I'm sure could you. It was hard to find positivity in 2020 but there is always something to be thankful for. The sun still rises and the tides still sweep across the shores. We are still free -for now- in the USA. Read on to see what I enjoyed this year.  Silk pillowcases are on my list of new favorite things. For the past ten years or so I've found it hard to sleep on a rough pillowcase. They almost feel like they burn my skin, some can be very abrasive. I've taken to using the old pillowcases, the ones a few washes from the trash can, the old cotton tends to soften. Until silk pillowcases came my way. *Cue organ music* So luxurious . Apparently there are legit reasons to use these (no s

Sweet Zoey

 Zoey - August 10, 2020 When we found her I didn't realize I needed her. Sure, she needed us, she was living in woods, alone, surviving on whatever she could find. She was nine months old, the vet later told me when I took her in for a check-up, still unsure I wanted to keep this undernourished mutt. We'd been on vacation in southwest Missouri, near the Arkansas border, in the middle of the woods. I was on the porch when I saw her trotting down the dirt road. A little brown dog. I whistled and she stopped to look at me from across the lawn. Then she continued on her way. Later that night, the family was watching a movie we'd brought (no cable service out there!) and suddenly this furry face popped up in the window, scaring my husband out of his seat. We fed her some people food and went to bed.  She was still there in the morning. We asked around and no one knew where she came from. We fed her some more and she stayed. The next day we went and bought some dog food, flea and

Just Say No to Lemonade?

As a young child I went through the dreaded allergy testing where they pricked my arms and back with different known allergens and waited for a reaction. My biggest reaction was to citrus foods, which crushed my mother as she'd always nursed every cold or sniffle with orange juice. I was okay knowing this was bad since I didn't like orange juice anyway.  So life went on. I could walk right by Orange Julius in the mall without any sorrow since orange wasn't my fave. But along came summer. And fresh-squeezed lemonade, served in big sizes at the county fair. I looked forward to that lemonade every summer and that one large cup never seemed to bother me. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm not allergic anymore , I thought, as I got older. I'd have a lemonade or two every summer, without reaction. Then I got brave and started making my own at home. I perfected it and a few years ago started buying lemons every year, late August, when I just ached for lemonade. I'd use one lemon a day a

Will You Be Welcomed?

In looking for something clean to watch on television, Wayne and I stumbled upon Bringing Up Bates . Raising nineteen children to love the Lord and to be productive members of society is a pretty big task, but this family does it well. We've binged the entire show and are now caught up. We love this family and can name them all.  We've watched the older children fall in love and get married and have children of their own. We've been in their homes (virtually). We've gone to parks with them (virtually). We've laughed with them and cried with them. We've even been in the delivery room when they are birthing.  Along with thousands of other people. I follow them on Instagram and Facebook. I sometimes catch them broadcasting live. I've browsed the Bates Sisters Boutique .  It's like I know them.  However, if I show up on their porch during a family party and expect to be welcomed I'll likely be banished. Perhaps even escorted off the

What Was I Thinking?

My mind wandered down paths I try to avoid, reaching into memories pushed aside. Assaulting me with reasons and questions and motives. I'm embarrassed to admit I spent more time on these paths than I normally do and the guilt and shame started creeping in.  I'm pretty good at shaking off the thoughts that try to hit me. I almost physically reach into my head and pull them out, throwing them to the ground and saying, "I will not think about that," deciding to think on other, better things.  But once in a while... Perhaps it's the forced time alone with the 2020 Corona Quarantine. Honesty had me admitting to friends this week that Corona has fear creeping at my doorstep. He's knocking and I'm trying to ignore him. Pretty sure he's circling my house, looking for a hole to slip into. He's a hard one to chase away. I turn off the news and avoid news websites. I focus on creating interesting meals and reading encouraging books. I pray. I fin