Oh the ideals young couples have. Get married, become a solid force. Become one.
And then life begins and soon many of them are caving to outside influences, and some of those seemingly innocent influences can tear your marriage apart, leaving one spouse angry and hurt and the other completely clueless as to what is happening.
I'm talking about mom.
I've been blessed in my marriage to have parents on both sides that care and support and even offer advice without being intrusive and overbearing. There is a difference.
Too many marriages are torn apart because the 1+1=1 equation is more like trying to have a man+wife+his mom+her mom=?
That will never equal one.
When you get married you form your own family entity.
Your family is now your spouse and later on will include your children until you let them go.
Your extended family will always still be there, but your focus should now be the person that you are married to.
Men, do not let your mother decide what your family will do for holidays, vacations, etc. This is a decision for you and your wife to make. While your mother may have nice plans or ideas you can say no to them.
Women, do not let your mother trash-talk your husband. Moms seem to do this because they want what's best for their daughters. If there is something seriously wrong (abuse of any kind, for example) then listen, but if she just doesn't like the way he painted your living room then you need to quiet her voice.
Time and again we have witnessed marriages being destroyed because the husband or wife listens too much to their parent and not what their spouse is saying.
If the voice of the parent is destroying your marriage then it is okay to cut that relationship off and focus on your spouse. Your marriage should come first. After your relationship with the Lord, your spousal relationship should be your strongest relationship on this planet.
If you have parents that are interfering in your marriage I urge you to seek professional marriage counseling and get this stopped. It will destroy the union that you made. Because while 1+1=1 in marriage you can never do that with any other relationship.