Sometimes I think that people think more about the words I say than I do.
I've recently been approached by several people who wanted to clarify something that I said during a friendly conversation.
This happening once didn't mean anything to me at all, but after a couple of more times I started to wonder why this was happening.
I'm not being harsh or crude. I'm just having a casual conversation and the person I'm talking to is later going over my words and reading things into them that aren't there.
The following are made up examples of this:
Me: "I don't like the color green" (okay, well that part is true but I can guarantee you that my friend Marissa has never taken this personally!)
The person I'm talking to: She must not like my new green dress that I had a picture of on Facebook last week, and I guess that means she doesn't like me.
Me: "I could never be a waitress" (okay, well this is true too, but only because after the third or fourth trip to a persnickety person's table I'd be like, "Go get your own ketchup because I'm done dealing with you" My friend Cory was one of the best waitresses I've ever seen and my friend Jodi loves her new job at The Olive Garden and I'm sure she's perfect at it because she's got that type of personality. Perhaps it's the introvert in me that shivers at the thought?)
The person I'm talking to: She must think she's better than me because I'm a waitress.
Do you see how ridiculous this is? Trust me, I am bold enough that if I need to tell you something I will. I will never try to send you a message in disguise. I don't have the time or energy to spend thinking up ways to tell somebody something.
When I'm having a conversation with someone it's just a conversation. There is no underlying agenda. There is no secret code. It's just me, being goofy and unguarded.
I walk away and rarely give it a second thought.
Like you would if you were talking to a cashier and she commented on your pack of Big Red gum and you told her that you didn't like it but were buying it for a friend.
It's no big deal, right?
These are the things that are hard for me as a pastor's wife. I'm just me.
I'm just me.
Just me trying to love my Jesus and let Him work on making me more like Him.
I know that the position comes with somewhat of a pedestal, but please don't put me up there.
I'm just me.