Skip to main content

Broken


I skirted the issue for months, avoiding any hint of upheaval though I felt it to my bones. The closer I navigated towards the issue the bigger the signs were that there was something wrong. It was as though the, "I'd turn back if I were you," sign greeting Dorothy's friends in the forest as they sought the Emerald City was showing up on every path I set my feet on. 

 I had a relationship in trouble.

 The more stories I hear the more I'm convinced we are all dealing with at least one relationship in our lives which is in conflict and the key to fixing it lies on both sides. One alone cannot fix the damage. There are many reasons for relationships to end, some more heartbreaking than others, and some are best to let die while others should be fought for.  

 All relationships require polishing in order for them to shine, pruning in order for them to grow. My husband and I didn't get to twenty-five years of marriage without effort. There were dents and scratches along the way, all in need of repair. Some were easier to fix than others but we didn't just put a bandage on it and hope for the best. We spent days, weeks, and even months talking, praying, and getting to the root of our problems. In working through the hard times we found our roots grew stronger and by holding on to each other in the storms we were better able to stand. We fought and won. We know we are still fighting and will continue to do so as life turns and new challenges arise. The growing and pruning is part of our commitment to each other. 

 On the opposing side I've had friendships die that I didn't want to fight for. The time spent trying to keep them alive was exhausting, both mentally and physically. I realized nothing I said would keep them from falling down. They weren't as deeply rooted as I thought and my words fell into an abyss where they were met with gossip, sarcasm, and jealously labeled as guilt. True friendship will never demand the unreasonable or pit one friend against another. 

 Some broken things are okay to let go of. The sooner we learn this lesson the better. Marriage is always worth fighting for*. If you are facing a trial in your marriage please know you are not alone and it is quite normal for issues to arise, you are two separate beings who were raised with two different backgrounds. There is help available, all you need to do is ask. 

 I'd like to say my friendship was fixed but it was not. I simply grew tired of trying to fix it on my end while being met with opposition. I gave up and walked away knowing my hands were clean. Sometimes it's easier to love without being connected. Sometimes the broken can't be avoided and sometimes it's okay to let it go.

*If you are in an abusive relationship please know this is not normal and God does not condone it. Please seek help immediately.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kitchen floor woes

I spent a better part of this afternoon lamenting how much I hate my kitchen floor. It puzzles me as to why anyone would install such flooring. Not only is it ugly, but also impractical. It also puzzles me as to why, after nearly nine years in this house, I still have this floor. Well. It doesn't puzzle me that much ($$$). I clean it only once a year.  Don't judge,  I Swiffer and spot clean in between. And I have a dog who does her share of, ahem , cleaning it.  But see all of those deep grout lines? Scrubbing around each brick tile and into those lines is beastly. It's much harder than getting foundation out of the lines on my face. Douse with cleaner. Scrub with rough sponge. Wipe with cloth rag. Rinse with rag. Rinse again in between each brick tile until it's done. Roughly two hours of scrubbing and rinsing. Similar process to removing makeup, but much more labor intensive.  Yes, I could use a mop but scrubbing...
Post a Comment
Read more

Front Row Seat

  If you've been around me any length of time, you'll know I love having a front row seat when possible. Church. Concerts. Comedy shows. Auctions. I want to be front and center, where the action is, so I don't get distracted and miss something. I want to be part of the event and front is where it's at.  Lately I've had a front row seat to some things that I wish I could unsee. My mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis and the last year and a half of watching her slow and steady decline into a world of unknowns has taken a toll.  I tend to hold every emotion inside. Always have. I've learned -these past fifteen months or so- that this is bad for my health. Stress levels are impacting how I feel. Palpitations, and a diagnosis of "harmless" PACs, have left me trying to manage this stress. It's gotten easier but, I'll admit, I still have things shoved down inside. And then along came CDH. A diagnosis I'd not heard of before it was given to...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sweet Zoey

 Zoey - August 10, 2020 When we found her I didn't realize I needed her. Sure, she needed us, she was living in woods, alone, surviving on whatever she could find. She was nine months old, the vet later told me when I took her in for a check-up, still unsure I wanted to keep this undernourished mutt. We'd been on vacation in southwest Missouri, near the Arkansas border, in the middle of the woods. I was on the porch when I saw her trotting down the dirt road. A little brown dog. I whistled and she stopped to look at me from across the lawn. Then she continued on her way. Later that night, the family was watching a movie we'd brought (no cable service out there!) and suddenly this furry face popped up in the window, scaring my husband out of his seat. We fed her some people food and went to bed.  She was still there in the morning. We asked around and no one knew where she came from. We fed her some more and she stayed. The next day we went and bought some dog food, f...
5 comments
Read more