Do You Hear What I Hear? - A Glimpse into the Life of a Ministry Wife

I've spent years trying to immerse myself in the world of working in the yard. I've tried my hand at gardening, have planted flowers at least once, had a nice little strawberry patch for a couple years, but finally came to the conclusion I'd known all along.

I don't like yard work.

It's too dirty. It ruins my nails (even with gloves on) and we all know I need glitter on my nails, not dirt. 

Several years ago I hired a woman from our church to help with some yard work. Desiree enjoyed being outside and submerging her hands in the soil (and even without gloves!) while I preferred to stay inside and keep up with the housework because there is enough of that to last a lifetime. Is the laundry ever really done? 

It started out well. Desiree did her job and I did mine. Once in a while we would chat when she took a little break. I enjoyed getting to know her.

Or I thought I did.

It began slowly, "What does Pastor do that keeps him from answering his phone? Mark was trying to get him last night and couldn't reach him."

I wondered how Desiree knew Mark tried to call. I shouldn't have wondered long though, as she continued before I could answer.

"He called around several places looking for the pastor. He told us he tried the Jones' and the McManigen's. He should really be easier to get in touch with."

I was aghast listening to her. I didn't have words to respond with. I changed the subject and stewed the rest of the afternoon. 

The next time Desiree came to work on the landscaping she carried more complaints with her. 

I mean suggestions.

"You know, the reason people have left the church is because Pastor caters to the younger crowd and not the older ones." 

I silently counted the ones who'd left and realized they were all under forty. Clearly not due to being catered to.

"...and another reason is because the music is too loud on Sunday, is there a way to turn it down?" Desiree was holding a flower, roots dangling from her hand, and I felt sorry for it. 

"And Kendra wants you to tell him to preach on Revelation because she hasn't ever heard him do that. Does he not know how to preach on Revelation?"

Needless to say this was the last day Desiree did any work for me. 

It's one thing to complain about the pastor to me at church (no, really, don't do this) but to do at my home? I'm peri-menopausal. She's lucky I didn't throttle her physically or with my weapon of words. I've never had a harder time taking every thought captive as I have since entering this next phase of womanhood. 

And Desiree is just one person. Imagine the pressure on your favorite ministry couple when several hundred people have ideas on how things should be. 

"I could run this place better than you," is one phrase uttered to my husband several years ago.

And that's the problem. Allowing little things to mar our view of the cross and what really is important. 

It's not about you.

It's about Him.

It's about Jesus and trying to be like Him. If everyone in the church would do that we would all be more effective in our communities. If we would be the light instead of being gossip-carriers and complainers the world might be able to see the difference in us.

So if you see my house (which is not pictured above) and wonder why there are no flowers in the yard...wonder no more. 


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