Skip to main content

Alone vs. Lonely

A few years ago I attended an event in Florida. It was nice to escape the cold of Pennsylvania and travel south. Where that week the high temperatures were in the upper 40's. So not kidding. It was a golf event and my husband said he'd never been so cold on the course. While the men were golfing, the women were herded onto a bus and transported to Saint Augustine. I should add that these were all strangers to me. I'd met a few in passing over the years but didn't even know names. We got off of the bus and made plans to reunite at an appointed time. From there we were free to do whatever we wanted for a few hours. 

I began my adventure alone. Dodged a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade size crowd of elementary school field trip children. 

They were everywhere.

Felt like I was the frog in a game of Frogger. I just wanted to cross the street filled with children. 

Crowds in general are not my thing. Crowds of kids on field trips? Shiver.

I wandered the shops.

I visited a museum and basked in the history.

Button art 

This used to be a pool, now it's a restaurant

Found  a coffee shop and bought an English Breakfast hot tea. 

Found a spot on a cement wall near the water where I could just sit and drink my tea.

Throughout my adventure I came upon women from our group, none of them alone like me. At each encounter I was invited to join them. I think my aloneness make them uncomfortable. 

Even while I was taking the picture of my tea and boots one of them approached and asked if I wanted my whole self in a picture. I handed her my phone and she took this shot of me. On the wall. Alone with my tea. 

It was as if taking my picture somehow included her in my adventure and she could feel better that I wasn't truly alone anymore.

But I was perfectly content being alone. 

I think perhaps we can make ourselves uncomfortable when we see someone alone. As if they need to be included so we reach out and try to coax them to join us. Because together has to be better than alone.

There's a time for together and there's a time for alone. I'm happiest when I'm alone or with my people. Put me with strangers where small talk is required and I end up babbling and humor becomes my default. 

Lancaster County is famous for the Amish and their restaurants where meals are served family-style. This means you sit at a table with strangers and pass bowls of food around to share from. I can think of nothing worse. For an introvert, this is torture. I don't mind family-style with my actual family. But with strangers? 
And bed and breakfasts, though quiet and laid back, involve breakfast and chatter with strangers. Can't I get my tea in my room?

Alone is how I recharge. I think best without the clutter in my brain that small talk and crowds create. I'm calm inside. I may appear calm on the outside when I'm in the midst of stranger-danger (there are reasons aside from actual danger that they call it that) but inside there's a storm.

Alone and lonely are two different things. I have felt lonely in crowds. Some of my loneliest times were when I was in college, surrounded by my peers. I rarely get lonely these days. 

I know my fellow introverts can relate.

Alone, to me, is a beautiful thing.


Popular posts from this blog

Small Changes: Peanut Butter and Jelly

I eat the same thing for breakfast every single day. Most people think it's weird, I just think of it as fuel to get my day started. I was never big on cereal, mostly because I don't like milk. Other than a little splash of it in my tea I don't drink it.

I start my day with an organic brown rice cake with peanut butter and jelly on it. It works for me. The peanut butter provides protein and the jelly provides the yum.

I prefer the Lundberg Farms brown rice cakes. Brown rice is a good carb, white rice is a bad carb. White rice has no nutritional value and turns to sugar in your system. Brown rice is a whole grain and is a much better choice. 
I get the lightly salted ones. I find these in the organic food section of my favorite grocery store.

Now, let's look at some peanut butter and jelly. For the peanut butter I just chose Skippy because it's a brand that everyone is familiar with. I prefer the natural peanut butters, but if you don't like the texture of them and …

Small Changes: Shredded Cheese

Today we're not just talking cheese, we're talking shredded cheese. This is the time of year when everyone has a party or picnic to go to, and most of the time you need to bring a dish of some kind. Many of these dishes call for cheese.

Sidenote: I'm so in love with cheese that I have to restrict it from my diet 99% of the time. I cannot be trusted with the creamy goodness that is cheese. Colby. Cheddar. Mozzarella. Gouda. Gorgonzola. Monterey Jack. Cream. Pepper Jack. Sigh. I love cheese, but it does not love me. It tempts me ever so. Today at lunch I splurged and order chicken parm. I only ate about half of it and that should last me several months. My body works much better when I stay away from cheese and dairy in general. Though, surprisingly, ice cream does not affect me in a bad way. Hmmmm.....

Anyway, back to cheese. Many recipes call for shredded cheese and the food industry has listened and provided a myriad of choices in the shredded cheese department and they hav…

It's Not A Blessing if you Had to Sin to Get it

Pretty strong words but also very true. I once heard a man say his girlfriend was, "A gift from God." 

Except she wasn't because she was still married to someone else. Glenn wiggled in and turned her head and snatched her away from her husband and children.

How dare he think God had anything to do with that.

He doesn't work that way. If you want His blessings then you need to walk closely with Him. He will never bless sin. He can't. He is unable to. Sin is what separates us from God. 

Glenn may think he is living a blessed life as he runs on emotions and feelings but nothing like this will prosper. In the end it will lead to destruction. 

It already has. The family he destroyed will never be the same.