Suzanne Schaffer

I woke feeling worthless today. It's likely the perfect storm of wintery weather, hormones, a dichotomy on the scale, and the nagging cold that won't let go. I explained it to my friend this way, "I feel like a coin in a tin can. Rattling around and making a lot of noise but not doing anything worthwhile." All this a couple days after someone fussed over me, "Oh Suzanne, you're so awesome," she said excitedly. I don't like being fussed over. My close friends and family know this. It makes me very uncomfortable and gives me time to think about how un-awesome I am because I know myself better than anyone else does. I see my faults and failures. I see the ugly hiding in my heart. I see the attitude that needs changed. I see the unmet expectations and the quiet harbor I find in closing myself in a shell. Today has been full of cold wind, unending housework, and loads of self-doubt. I wore my inflatable crown while I ironed my h...

You are a miracle. You didn't arrive here by chance. It took centuries of decisions and roads traveled or not traveled to lead to your creation. We are made unique with our own stories. Here's mine: In the year 1620 the Mayflower sailed from England to the New World. John Howland was a passenger hoping for a new life, a dream almost cut short when he fell overboard. He was pulled from the sea and I am a direct descendant of his. My maternal grandfather was born in Italy and lived there until he was twelve, when, in 1920, he crossed the Atlantic with the same dreams as John Howland. He entered the New York Harbor and went through Ellis Island with thousands of other immigrants. He traveled from there to the Pittsburgh area where he met with family in Washington County. My grandfather married a woman who spent most of her life in the hills of West Virginia. They had a baby girl in 1931 and over the next ten years suffered the loss of a stillborn boy and the death of...

Prayer requests. In ministry we've heard them all. "Pray for my gas," was one that shut down open prayer request time at one church we served in. "Pray for my hangnail," was one another pastor heard. "Pray for my son to get a new job where he can make more money," is one a mother said to me on a Sunday morning. Some I've prayed include: "Please help us get out of debt." "Please take this illness away." What part do we play in having our needs met? The pastor who was asked to pray for the hangnail told the man, "Go home and cut it off." The answer to my prayer about getting out of debt took several years of hard work on our part. The miracle was finding a book about being debt free. The answer to my prayer about taking my illness away lied in finding a four month detox cleanse diet that cured me of my ailment. My mother-in-law was able to avoid taking medicine for a diabetes diagnosis by simply changin...

I don't follow many celebrities on social media. Several Food Network chefs, Tom Hanks (he does this glove thing when he's out and posts pics on FB), Amy Grant (obviously), Natalie Grant, and some other Christian artists and authors.  And yes, authors are totally celebs.  Natalie Grant is one I follow on Instagram. Instagram has a feature called My Story at the top of the app. Few people utilize it: my friend who posts his daily workouts, a Pittsburgh Foodie account with the scrumptious flavors of my city, a friend living in China who shares interesting pieces of her new world, and Natalie Grant. Natalie recently shared her new toaster in one of these clips that disappears after a day or two. She showed us its features as if she were a QVC host trying to sell the most incredible new product, and convinced me that it is indeed the best toaster ever. It's the Breville Lift and Look Touch 4-Slice Toaster.  It's a work of art. It has a button to...

Every year it seems our society is more obsessed with Hallmark Christmas movies than the year before. We are now able to enjoy them in July as well as during the holiday season. Who doesn't love a sappy-happy movie where everything works out just fine? Life is messy yet the movies and entertainment we choose can blur our reality. The family dinner that looks perfect on screen or even in our Instagram photos doesn't show the harsh reality that life hurts. Plastic smiles don't reveal the tension between family members. Posed pictures don't whisper the gossip between those who no longer talk to each other. No matter how hard we try to make everything just so we will never be able to attain how life is portrayed on screen. It isn't real. Movies, books, and television shows create an illusion of how we want life to appear and we can be overwhelmed when trying to accomplish this or even be left discouraged and depressed when it can't be done. Some of us try t...

I hate when skinny people say, "I forgot to eat," because who forgets to eat? It's like forgetting to breathe, I've not had it happen. In fact, I've remembered extra meals. There are things I have forgotten though. It was 1980-something and I'd forgotten the secret thoughts written in a devotional journal in middle school. This particular book was set up like a diary with scriptures and inspirational sayings on each page. I wrote sporadically through it, everything from what I had for breakfast, what the weather was like, who my current crush was, and what I really thought about the kids in my youth group. I've been journaling,  writing in diaries, and blogging for as long as I can remember and have more notebooks I should probably burn than ever need see the light of day. I'd long forgotten about this book until I found it one weekend while I was home from college, it was shelved in the library of the school at the church I attended. My parents...

I skirted the issue for months, avoiding any hint of upheaval though I felt it to my bones. The closer I navigated towards the issue the bigger the signs were that there was something wrong. It was as though the, "I'd turn back if I were you," sign greeting Dorothy's friends in the forest as they sought the Emerald City was showing up on every path I set my feet on.  I had a relationship in trouble. The more stories I hear the more I'm convinced we are all dealing with at least one relationship in our lives which is in conflict and the key to fixing it lies on both sides. One alone cannot fix the damage. There are many reasons for relationships to end, some more heartbreaking than others, and some are best to let die while others should be fought for.   All relationships require polishing in order for them to shine, pruning in order for them to grow. My husband and I didn't get to twenty-five years of marriage without effort. There were dents and scra...