Suzanne Schaffer

I know I've never been known for my style. No one has ever said, "Hey, there's Suzanne, she's always dressed just right." It isn't me. And I'm okay with that.  I did, however, birth an offspring that these words can be said about. How that happened I'll never know, but my girl has style. Lots of style. Anyway, can we talk about fashion rules a little? I mean the basic ones.  The ones I'm pretty sure no one is talking about anymore. #1 - Please don't wear a dark bra under a light shirt. This is not attractive. No one wants to see your bra. Your bra has one purpose. To keep the girls in place. #2 - While we're talking about the girls....yeah, I'm totally going there. Can we keep them out of sight? I am so tired of seeing boobs. One of the reasons I prefer winter to summer is that the boobs stay hidden for the most part. #3 - This is along the same lines as #1. If you wear dark underwear please don't wear them under ligh...

Took the son to the airport in Pittsburgh so he could fly off to Atlanta for another year.  Stopped at Sheetz on the way and my husband had a sudden craving for this oddity. SMH. Rush hour in the 'burgh. Not really that bad at all.  After dropping our son off we had dinner and then found Whole Foods. Heavenly. Vegan ice cream. If it wasn't a two-hour drive I would have bought some. The man did find himself an interesting iced tea And I found this lovely little bit of wonderfulness.

Let's just file this under Books I Won't Be Reading .

I know that there are thousands of you out there who enjoy camping and being one with nature and all that.  I'm not one of you. Granted, I haven't truly camped since I was a little girl in the 70s when my parents loaded up the Volkswagon camper and we set out to some woodsy campground. My memory of that trip? Losing one sandal in the very fast moving creek water. That is all I remember. I imagine camping to be something like this: Pack your stuff Pack your food Pack your towels Pack your toilet paper Pack your soap Pack your dishes Pack your utensils Pack your dish soap Pack your bug spray Drive to camp site Unpack your food Unpack your dishes Unpack your utensils Remember that you forgot charcoal. And a lighter. Bum some from another camper or run down to Walmart (see, there's another reason right there) Light fire. Cook food. Eat. Clean up. Dispose of everything far away to discourage wildlife. Go to sleep. Repeat. This does not seem...

I received the following email at my "junk" email address. If they'd take the time to use proper grammar I might fall for it. Nah, probably still wouldn't. U.s. Department of justice 950 pennsylvania Avenue, Nw Washington, DC 205330-0001 Department of justice Attention: The justice department hereby email you regarding the scam activities on the internet, we have a not right in front of us that you are having something to do with some internet spammers all in the name of the compensation funds and winning funds. this emails you get usually come from the spammers who claim to be the FBI, INTERPOL,EFCC,UNITED NATION, INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND and some other scam names that mostly comes from Africa countries like, GHANA,NIGERIA,BENIN REPUBLIC. we got the not on our desk this morning from the inspector General of head internet security (Gen. Daniel Doherty) You are asked to stop all contact you ha...

On the flip side of the "no visitors" post I recently wrote, there is the "I was in the hospital and you didn't come visit me" subject that I'd like to cover. My pastor-husband has heard this many times in his 20+ years in full-time ministry. "Why didn't you visit me?" Um, because you didn't let the church know that you were in the hospital. Really, this happens. A lot. I could just finish this post here and leave it at that because it's self-explanatory, but I don't understand the reasoning behind it. If you go into the hospital and you want your pastor to visit then you better call and let him know that you are in the hospital. He doesn't call into every area hospital every day to ask who was admitted and see if he recognizes the name of anyone. Who would do that anyway? I know that's a ridiculous idea, but so is the idea that he is just going to know that you are there. Quit being offended because you aren...

We've all heard that someone is in the hospital and they are asking that no one visits. There are many reasons for this, sometimes it is due to the severity of their circumstance, other times it's because they just don't want visitors. When I had my first child I was awake all night on a Saturday night, he was born at about 5:30 in the morning. I was traumatized. And exhausted. My husband is a pastor so they announced at church that morning that the baby had been born.  I also asked them to announce that no one come to visit me. I didn't want to see anyone. But there were a few people who thought that I certainly didn't mean them. Yeah, I did mean them. I meant no one at all unless we were closely related. It amazes me how often people ignore the requests for visitation.  If someone says "no visitors" then please, don't visit them. There are reasons. You don't have to know why, it is kinder if you comply with their request. No matter ho...

I recently went to a yard sale where there was this shelf filled with all kinds of things, including a bunch of mugs. I picked up the green mug (the dollar bill was completely covered, I didn't see it until after I picked up the mug) and turned it over to see the maker of the mug.  Out. Poured. Coffee. All over the shelf. I admit, I started giggling. And then I looked around to see if anyone saw this happen. No one did. So then I did what comes naturally, I took a picture. I was too embarrassed though to tell them what happened. But seriously, if you're drinking coffee at your yard sale why would you rest your cup next to mugs that you're selling? So, there you go. If you can't laugh at yourself then go ahead and laugh at me. Life is funny. Loosen up and enjoy it.